The Christmas Surprise Read online

‘What are you up to?’ said Rosie politely. ‘Are your builders still in?’

  ‘Oh no, I told them if they weren’t clear by the weekend they’d not be getting paid. Triple shifts. You’ve got to be firm with these people.’

  ‘Okay,’ said Rosie.

  ‘No, I’m on my way to have it out with him once and for all,’ said Pamela.

  ‘Who?’ said Rosie.

  ‘Roy, of course.’

  ‘Uh, of course,’ said Rosie. She had rather thought that Roy snogging his ex-wife and getting back together with her in front of everyone in the entire town might have settled the matter pretty conclusively, but she wasn’t going to step in front of Pamela’s wrath.

  ‘Give me some chewing gum.’

  ‘We don’t stock it,’ said Rosie apologetically. ‘Lilian thinks it’s common.’

  Pamela rolled her eyes.

  ‘How can it be when I want some?’

  Rosie didn’t have an answer to that, so brought out the sugar-free mints instead.

  ‘What are you going to say to him?’

  ‘Apart from the fact that he’s a cock-sucking son of a bitch … sorry, Appy.’

  Apostil beamed cheerfully. It slightly tickled Rosie that he seemed to love his aunt Pamela so completely. It was a combination of her making a lot of noise and wearing masses of sparkly, shiny things that attracted his attention, plus the fact that she didn’t coo or fuss over him. It reminded Rosie of those people who didn’t like cats, who would instantly have the nearest cat drape itself over them.

  ‘No, I just need to hear it from him. For closure, you know what I mean?’

  Close up, Pamela didn’t look as tremendous as usual. Her skin had lost that buffed-up American sheen, and underneath the heavy make-up she was wearing she looked pale and wan, with dark shadows underneath her eyes. Her highlights had started to grow out at the roots, with little wiry grey hairs showing here and there, and she had lipstick on one of her teeth.

  ‘Um, are you sure that him getting back with Laura wasn’t closure?’

  ‘Not for me!’ shouted Pamela, popping two mints into her mouth. ‘And as soon as he sees me, I totally reckon he’ll reconsider.’

  ‘Do you really want him that much?’ said Rosie.

  Pamela tilted her head.

  ‘Well. You know,’ she said. ‘There’s not a lot of men in this town.’

  ‘There’s nothing but men in this town,’ said Rosie, exasperated.

  ‘Yeah, if you want to marry a farmer. Or a primary school teacher.’

  ‘I would like that,’ said Rosie. ‘Come on, Pamela, you’ve been here for ten minutes. I’m sure there’s loads of other guys around here.’

  ‘Roy and I had a connection.’

  ‘Yeah, as long as you were debating brands of toothpaste,’ said Rosie. ‘Be sensible, Pamela.’

  Pamela looked at her.

  ‘Well it’s all right for you, isn’t it, Miss Goody Two-shoes? With the man and the baby and the oh-so-sweetie sweetshop. Your life is totally sorted. So please don’t tell me how I should run mine.’

  Rosie was completely taken aback by this. The idea that she could inspire jealousy in someone like Pamela had never crossed her mind.

  ‘All right then,’ she said. ‘Do you want me to call ahead to the surgery, see if he’s free?’

  ‘No,’ said Pamela, turning to leave without paying. ‘I want the element of surprise.’

  ‘How’s your morning been?’ Stephen had run up at lunchtime; he didn’t normally, but it wasn’t a full school day.

  ‘Surprising,’ said Rosie.

  ‘Oh,’ said Stephen, after she’d explained. ‘Ah.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I heard shouting. On my way.’

  ‘Was it possibly dentist’s surgery shouting?’

  ‘I think I might have heard a drill going.’

  ‘Oh God, we should probably alert Moray.’

  A thought struck her.

  ‘Laura isn’t back being his receptionist, is she?’

  Stephen nodded slowly.

  ‘Oh my good Lord.’

  With Tina off on honeymoon to Disneyland, Rosie was having to work harder than ever dealing with the Christmas rush, and they still had to go into Derby to look at the house. The longer they put the process off, the worse it would get. So on Christmas Eve, with Stephen complaining mightily, they all got into the Land Rover.

  Being down in the lowlands, Derby wasn’t covered in snow at all, but instead was being lashed by heavy driving rain, which got in through the flaps along the side. Rosie sat in the back with Apostil in his car seat, keeping him cosy and occasionally shouting directions to Stephen, who was swearing mightily at the traffic. Everything was blurry: traffic lights and headlights, and tired-looking people anxious to get home, and huge trucks making great waves as they smashed through puddles, and huddled pedestrians with their heads down against the driving rain, waiting to cross roads that seemed to be lined with pound shops.

  ‘There’s a new Westfield,’ said Rosie brightly.

  ‘I don’t know what that is,’ said Stephen, who didn’t understand the concept of shopping.

  ‘You will.’

  Finally, late, tired and absolutely starving, they arrived in the long road of identical houses. Even the dark and the rain couldn’t disguise the burnt-out cars; the washing machines and old mattresses littering the front gardens; a noisy party taking place at an upstairs window. There were plenty of beautiful streets in Derby, and some lovely houses. This wasn’t one, and that was that. Rosie sighed. Maybe it would be better than she remembered.

  Lance was waiting for them under a large golf umbrella. He was wearing a huge puffa jacket over his suit, which made him look a little like a jovial bear.

  ‘Weather a bit different from Cornwall, then?’ said Rosie, and Lance got a rather faraway look in his eye and fumbled with his keys and said, let’s go in if we’re going, then, which Rosie didn’t think he’d have said if they were going to see somewhere really lovely.

  It was worse than Rosie remembered. She didn’t know how it could be, but it was. The living room, with its dangerous-looking gas fire, and cars passing in front of the window, mere inches away, it seemed, every two seconds. The horrible kitchen, with its stained and ripped linoleum and empty unit spaces like gaping teeth; the dark stains on the peeling wallpaper; the weird, musty smell; the sagging ceilings.

  ‘So you know it’s very hard to find a house in your budget,’ said Lance quickly. ‘And this is an extremely vibrant area.’

  As if in answer, a siren went off so loudly it sounded as if it were in the front room. Apostil woke up with a start and started grumping. Rosie ferreted in her bag for a bottle.

  Upstairs was even worse. The solitary bathroom was peach in colour and deeply stained. A cracked window looked out over a tiny patch of brambles and bins that was officially their new back garden. Rosie tried not to think about the view from the dormer windows in Lipton: Lilian’s beautiful garden, with its neat rows of vegetables and stunning tumbling roses; the great rolling hills beyond their back door; barely a person to be seen; sheep occasionally straying close to town; snowdrops that would be appearing any day now, followed by daffodils carpeting the hills as spring arrived again …

  Rosie blinked.

  ‘And the internet speeds round here are very reasonable,’ Lance was saying, obviously somewhat at a loss as to how to continue. ‘As a starter property …’ He ran out of inspiration. ‘It’s … it’s definitely a starter property.’

  They were standing in a horrible, tiny bedroom at the front of the house. An old, highly suspicious mattress was lying on the floor. A bare wire came down from the ceiling; there was not even a light bulb. But the curtainless room was bright with a street light directly outside it and car headlamps shining across the pockmarked ceiling, illuminating cobwebs in every corner.

  Stephen turned to Lance.

  ‘Can you … can you give us a minute?’

  ‘Sure,’
said Lance, who looked slightly nervous about going downstairs all by himself, but retreated nonetheless. Rosie could feel a familiar lump in her throat. No. She wasn’t going to cry.

  Without saying a word, Stephen pulled them both into his arms.

  ‘We’ll make it okay,’ he said, his voice low. ‘I’m sorry … I’m so sorry I was such a dick about this. I was sticking my head in the sand, I really was. I’m so sorry. I didn’t … I didn’t realise quite how bad it was.’

  Rosie swallowed.

  ‘There’s nothing … you know there’s nothing we can do.’

  ‘I know,’ said Stephen, rocking her. ‘But it’ll be all right. We’ll make it all right, won’t we?’

  Another siren split the night.

  ‘We’ll have a roof over our heads. So many people have it much worse.’

  ‘But so far away from our friends, and everyone we know.’

  ‘So we’ll make new friends. Well, you will. I’m rubbish at it.’

  ‘You are,’ agreed Rosie, half laughing.

  ‘Come on, you’ll make it nice. It will be fine. Bit of paint …’ There was some shouting down the road. ‘Few extra burglar alarms.’

  Rosie chose not to tell him that the home insurance was going to cost almost as much as the mortgage.

  ‘All that matters is us. Not the money, not my ridiculous family, not anybody else’s opinion. You, me and Apostil. And Lilian. Who’d better get us a REALLY good housewarming present.’

  ‘Lilian,’ said Rosie softly, ‘already gave me everything.’

  They stood together for a while, until suddenly Rosie’s phone buzzed.

  ‘See. Good phone connection,’ said Stephen, trying to cheer her up.

  It was a message from Pamela.

  ‘Fuck it,’ Rosie read. ‘My boss has had a heart attack. Old job back. Fuck yeah! Back to NYC, baby! Fuck you losers! At the airport now. Tell that brother of mine to break it to the old bat. Am sure she’ll be pleased. Oh, and you can stay in that fucking house if it means so much to you. Sayonara.’

  Blinking, Stephen and Rosie walked slowly together down the rickety stairs.

  ‘Um,’ said Stephen, clearing his throat. ‘Lancelot.’

  ‘Just Lance,’ said Lance.

  ‘Lance. Anyway. We’ve changed our minds. For now. I don’t think we’re going to take the house.’

  ‘Quite right,’ said Lance instantly. ‘It’s a shithole. The survey is unbelievable. I can’t believe it’s still standing. There’s been two murders in this street in eight months.’

  Rosie coughed.

  ‘We’re going to DISCUSS it,’ she said, looking at Stephen, horrified. ‘We’re going to TALK IT OVER.’

  ‘Oh. Sorry,’ said Stephen.

  Apostil slept all the way home in the Land Rover, as the rain gradually turned to hail, then snow. At last they turned in to sleepy Lipton, the lights of the houses and farms shining brightly, Christmas trees lit in every window, with the town’s tree up at the market cross, its lights sparkling against the snow. In unspoken agreement they drove straight past the sweetshop, its little Christmas train in the window, then turned left, taking the steep, unlit road up through the hills that Rosie had cycled in inclement weather; where they had walked Mr Dog and picnicked and chatted and where they would teach Apostil to walk, to identify trees, to find conkers and snail shells, and worms; where he and Mr Dog could roam together, have adventures, grow up together. One hand in his father’s, the other – however it turned out – safely tucked in his mother’s, they would swing him, then later he would run, his dark eyes sparkling in the wind or the rain; his strong body filling out, raised on Isitt’s cream, and local butter and milk, and strawberries in the summer, and cabbages and carrots from their own patch, and lemon drops when he was good.

  In the huge wooded garden of Peak House, he could run with his friends from the little school; Stephen could build him a tree house, where he could camp in the summer, and tell horror stories round the fire until they all got too scared and came tearing back indoors, where Rosie would make them hot chocolate and put them to bed. He would wake here every day to fresh air, and a view across the beautiful Derbyshire landscape, and he would be the luckiest boy in the world, with everything Rosie had ever dreamed of for him, for her, for them …

  Still neither of them could speak as they alighted from the car, Apostil fast asleep still. There was a little lamp burning outside, and lights still on inside; obviously in her haste, Pamela had just made a dash for it. Stephen felt under the rock where the spare key was kept and glanced at Rosie, whose heart was in her mouth. He put out a hand to her, and together they pushed open the door.

  Inside, as Rosie’s eyes adjusted to the light, she realised that something was different. The old flagstone floor in the hallway was exactly the same, but that was about it. The lights overhead, for starters, were inlaid spotlights in the ceiling rather than fringed hanging shades. The walls, once a dark red that had made the place gloomy and a little sinister, were now a pale grey-beige colour, in a stripe that looked cosy and expensive. Instead of the spooky old pictures, a beautiful big mirror hung on the wall, reflecting the light. The house was warm. Rosie put her foot on the floor.

  ‘Oh my God,’ she whispered. ‘Underfloor heating!!! No way!!!!’

  Stephen was shaking his head.

  ‘This can’t be right. She can’t mean for us to stay here.’

  As they moved from room to room, their astonishment grew. In a month, Pamela had effected the most astonishing transformation. The front sitting room was now a harmonious palette of pale tartans and cream and grey, with a smart marble surround on the original fireplace. The walls had been toned down from their harsh, cold colours into something softer, fresher and warmer. The best parts of the kitchen – which had always been the nicest part of the house, with its big old scrubbed table and huge windows – had been kept the same, but with brand-new appliances and units.

  ‘She’ll be back in three days when she’s fallen out with her new boss,’ said Stephen, examining everything in wonder. ‘Christ, how rich IS she?’

  Rosie’s mouth was hanging open. She’d texted back about three times asking if Pamela really meant it about the house, but she must have been on the flight, because she hadn’t replied.

  ‘It’s a mistake,’ she said, as they went up the staircase with its beautiful new striped carpet. ‘There’s been some kind of mistake. She can’t really have meant it. Maybe she meant, keep an eye on it for me until I get back.’

  ‘That must be it,’ said Stephen. ‘She must want us to become unpaid housekeepers, popping up here on top of everything else we have to do.’

  ‘She has done such a beautiful job,’ said Rosie sadly. The large bedrooms had been done out in a beautiful tongue and groove that made them look like a New England beach house, but somehow it still suited the wonderful old Georgian windows, now with gorgeous shabby-chic curtains. Everything had huge plump pillows and expensively heavy linen, and when Stephen turned on the taps in the new all-stone bathroom that looked like something out of a very expensive hotel, hot water gushed out.

  ‘New boiler,’ he said, whistling. ‘Amazing. God, she doesn’t mess about, my sister. She must be poshing it up to sell.’

  ‘Oh yes,’ said Rosie, her disappointment reasserting itself. ‘She must. Of course. This will make a fortune, look at it.’

  Stephen nodded.

  ‘I know.’

  They glanced in the last bedroom at the back. Rosie paused.

  ‘Hang on,’ she said.

  There was a dark shape on the other side of this room, and no bed. She switched on the light; instead of the overhead light, lovely warm side lights came on, in pale blue sea shades. They both gasped. The shape, next to the window, overlooking the back garden, was a huge cot bed in white, with soft blue striped linen. There was a large trunk – Stephen’s own, from boarding school – filled with toys at the bottom of the bed. The walls were painted blue and white, and had beauti
ful old toy posters framed and hung on them. And on the side wall, just above an expensive changing table filled with nappies, E45 cream, nappy bags and a nappy bin – all things Rosie had dismissed as unnecessary expense – large cloth letters, blue with white dots, spelled out A-P-O-S-T-I-L.

  They both looked at it for a while, unable to speak. Then Stephen turned to Rosie.

  ‘I think maybe she did mean for us to have it.’

  ‘Fuck a duck,’ said Rosie, taking out her phone. There was no answer, so she sent another message.

  Downstairs, there was a fully stocked fridge, full of tasty treats from Marks & Spencer, and a bottle of champagne, which they opened after putting Apostil down to sleep in his new bed, taking picture after picture and sending them to Pamela. Everyone else could have one tomorrow, when they would explain.

  Stephen lit the little fire, but the house was so cosy already it was barely required. Then they sat in front of it, just looking at each other. They toasted Pamela, then they toasted themselves – ‘the luckiest sons of bitches,’ as Stephen pointed out, ‘in the history of the world’.

  ‘Your family is totally amazing,’ added Rosie. ‘I’ve always said so.’

  And then they burst out laughing, and held each other incredibly tight, side by side, staring into the fire, heads together, tears intermingled, waiting for Christmas morning.

  Chapter Twenty

  Because they had always planned to have Christmas dinner at Lilian’s home, they didn’t have to worry about much, except for telling everyone that they weren’t moving after all. There would be regular commutes to Derby, particularly for Rosie, for Apostil’s appointments, but it would be worth it. Plus it was about time Tina was made a full partner in the business anyway.

  Pamela refused to discuss the house or the succession in any way, so they didn’t press her on it. Not for now. But they sent her lots of pictures of Apostil and she didn’t seem to object to those.

  It was going to be a lovely day. Rosie and Stephen loaded up the car with gifts. They would go to church first, then on to the home, where the local catering college always did the residents proud. They were looking forward to seeing everyone, and showing off Apostil, who was wearing a red and green outfit and looked extraordinarily smart. The old ladies would be cooing over him even more than usual.